The Myth of Certainty

I suppose when I started seminary I thought that I would finally get some answers to my theological questions. I thought more learning would clear up the confusion and shore up my doctrinal convictions. But it hasn’t turned out that way. As I contemplate my graduation next week, I confess that I have more questions than when I started. Instead of finding more certainty, I have less of it.

Turns out that education might give us a few answers, but it forces us to ask many more questions. I never realized how much there is that I don’t know.

People don’t like their preachers to be uncertain. They don’t want to hear my verbal meandering where I say, “on the one hand we have this view… then on the other hand there’s this thought.” Many people come to church to hear what they’re supposed to think and do. They want answers stated in snappy phrases that remove all doubt and uncertainty.

I think I was a better speaker when I knew less. I was clear, incisive, and persuasive—even if I was wrong.

By the way, I expect to keep asking questions. If you need someone to tell you what to think, I can refer you to some cult leaders who love to control others.

Still, I understand that we want to be certain about God. If he doesn’t answer the way we expect, if he doesn’t act the way we were taught, it can cause us pain and confusion.

We call it a crisis of faith but it’s really a crisis of expectations, because God didn’t act like we thought he would.

I have learned that confusion doesn’t kill me. It makes me struggle to the point where I let go of immature perceptions and reach for something more profound—call it wisdom.

I think I was a better speaker when I knew less....