Born Again

There is a picture of me holding my first son a day or two after his birth. We are in a rocking chair in his newly painted room trying to get some rest. His tiny body sleeps soundly against my chest. My hair is uncombed, my shirttail is out, and my eyes look dazed and intense at the same time. I remember feeling the responsibility and pride and fear and determination and anticipation all new parents must feel.

In particular, I remember how quickly many of my childhood fears dissolved. Yellow jackets, big dogs, lightening, tornadoes, and robbers became less than details to me. But there were other things that became much more important: making a living, taking care of my health, being a good example and teacher.

Having a baby makes most of us instant adults, doesn't it?

It also became important that I live in such a way as to gain this boy's respect when he becomes an adult. There will be plenty of times when he's ticked at me when he is a child, but I want him to be able to look back when he's grown and see that I gave him an honorable blueprint for living.

The boy turns eleven on the day that I am writing this. He's tall and skinny and brainy and temperamental and funny and creative and to be honest, at times exasperating. Just after he was born, I remember holding him in front of the window at the hospital to show him to my friends and family as they snapped his picture.

Then I remember sitting in that rocking chair with him and offering my sincere commitment to be the best father to him that I could be.

In some ways it feels like my life began when he was born.

Perhaps that's what being born again is about. For years I have preached that the love of Christ transforms us, but I have come to see that my love for others also transforms me. I became different at the age of twelve when I gave my love to Christ. I changed again when I pledged my love in marriage to Kathy. I was transformed when my first son was born. Then I changed even more when my second son was born.

Each change made me aware of new depths of love, gave me courage I didn't know I had, stripped away things that were no longer important, and made life seem even more precious.

Perhaps heaven is experiencing ultimate love for each other and for God. That will be a true birth day.