The other day I experienced a pleasant moment where I felt the nearness of God. No momentous event had precipitated it. There were no bright lights or ecstatic revelations. Just a quiet sharing of thoughts as we walked together.
To be honest, I don’t have many moments like this and I have often been disappointed that the presence of God does not come to me more often. Other people tell me that God speaks to them regularly and that his presence is a joyful encounter. I always wanted a similarly close fellowship with God but it has not happened.
Is it a lack of faith? Well actually, it is faith that keeps me going rather than any strong feeling of God’s presence. To be fair, I have been rewarded for that faith. I have seen and experienced many answered prayers. But as I said, I’ve been disappointed that there has not been more tangible fellowship where I actually perceive God’s presence.
Most of my life, I have searched in vain for the Paraclete—the counselor/comforter/encourager—that John spoke of in his gospel (14:16). According to him, Jesus promised that in his absence, the Spirit could come to us and we would not be alone
I reveal this about myself because I think there are many like me. People who are committed to following God, who resist evil and try hard to practice goodness. People who have placed their faith in the saving grace of Jesus. People who diligently search for God through prayer and study. We are reluctant to say that we are disappointed in the results, so we just blame it on ourselves and vow to work harder.
But during the moment I had with God the other day, I got to thinking about how Jesus said we were no longer merely servants, but friends (John 15:14). Maybe this relationship with the Lord is more like human friendship.
When I think of encountering God, I picture it like the scene in Isaiah, with lots of smoke and thunder and emotion, accompanied with mind blowing insights. But maybe most of the time, like most friendships, it is quiet and unremarkable.
My very best human friends enjoy me for who I am. They do not constantly demand that I be something I am not. I feel the same toward them.
Perhaps I have not allowed God to be my friend. Most of us think of God as constantly disappointed because we do not measure up. And the truth is I have been disappointed with God, only I’m usually afraid to admit it. This mutual disappointment is a poor basis for friendship.
Could it be that God really likes me and doesn’t sweat my limitations? Maybe I can accept with joy what he offers me, rather than be disappointed because He did not meet my expectations.
Copyright © by David Mercer
January 23, 2008