Sister Teresa’s Doubts
Even our spiritual heroes have their doubts
Last year, I came across a headline that I think was supposed to shock the readers:
“Sister Teresa Had Doubts.”
After her death, it was discovered in her private journals (which she had requested to be destroyed) that she had questions about the existence of God. She suffered long periods of spiritual emptiness and doubts about religion.
Remember, we’re talking about the diminutive nun of Calcutta who took on the superhuman task of feeding the hungry. She refused basic comforts and insisted on living with the people to whom she ministered. She never got distracted from caring for the poor. No matter what dark feelings she had about God or the church, she did her work, and did it in the name of the God she sometimes doubted.
This is what we in the business call faith.
It’s not the dress-in-your-Sunday-best, see-all-your-friends, feel-warm-all-over faith. It’s the down-and-dirty, frontline, right-where-it-counts faith
I’m not really sure why Sister Teresa’s struggle is big news. Christianity’s best and brightest down through history have had massive crises of faith that accompanied a darkness of the soul: Origen, Augustine, and Martin Luther come to mind. Even John Wesley, the founder of the United Methodist Church where I serve, had massive struggles concerning faith.
Then there were Biblical figures who also struggled with doubts: Elijah, John the Baptist, and Peter.
It’s a part of the journey, folks. Everyone who searches for an ever-deepening relationship with God experiences it. It’s hard going, and it’s not for the lazy, shallow, or cowardly.
I have often ministered to adults who pursued a deeper walk with God. When they share with me about their new commitment, I immediately start praying for them because I know the darkness is coming. Difficult life challenges arise. Certainty evaporates. And the God who once was so close seems hidden.
What will they do? The dark journey of the soul can last a long time. Will they stay committed and look for that deeper relationship with God, or will they bail?
That’s the test.
Sister Teresa passed her test with flying colors. She kept going even when she walked in darkness. I say her doubts made her faith valid and her testimony credible.
Copyright © by David Mercer
February 6, 2008